It is more than Ironic………

Learning to F.L.Y.  (First Love Myself)

Living by Proverbs 3:5-6

Saturday March 26, 2016

The following is my Angela Shelton workbook Week 5, March 11, 2015.

What health problems can being wounded by the sword cause?

                Some problems that I know of without doing further research are; depression, migraines, stomach aches and issues, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, weight issues (over and under), nightmares, flashbacks, insomnia, numbness in joints, aching joints, mental health issues such as depression and Bi-Polar…..

How do the effects of trauma show up in my body? 

·         Being over-weight – tired – achy

·         Nightmares, especially when I have tried to recover memories

·         Always feeling tired – never enough sleep

o   Where in my body have I had consistent issues:

·         Lower back spasms

·         Lack of sex drive (even with an amazingly beautiful man – who really loves me)

·         Heart burn

·         Being overweight has affected my knees and hips

·         Extremely sensitive gag/choke reflex

·         Self-esteem issues

·         Sometimes hard to focus and stay in the game

My body issues are:

·         Fat, ugly, unattractive

·         No focus, no drive

·         Lack of determination to do something about it

·         I always quit, I am a loser, unmotivated – I just can’t

·         I allow my weight to determine my self-worth

I feel uncomfortable in my body when:

·         I look in the mirror

·         I undress in front of my husband

·         When I am round men

·         When I am round thin and fit women and men

·         When it is obvious to me and to others that my weight affects me and what I can or cannot do

·         When it is obvious to me that others judge me as less than because of my weight – (they wouldn’t do that if I was thin). 

It is more than ironic to me that it was just a year ago that I felt the need, with encouragement, to do this workbook. (It was an amazing year for me). Now that the workbook is finished, the difference from where I was just a year ago to where I am now is miraculous. I have so many ideas, goals and thoughts in my head and written in my journal’s--------and here I am blogging about how I got here – exactly a year later. So many amazing things “fell” into my lap as a result of listening – and doing this workbook. I am scared to death to continue with this “revealing” journey – yet so excited to share the parallel “fun” journey that was introduced to me along the way. A unique balancing act – with a sharp turn right into my heart.  More to come…………….

Hugs and Blessings!

Kim Mayer