Saturday, June 4, 2016

The Cost of Denial

Learning to F.L.Y.  (First Love Myself)
Living by Proverbs 3:5-6
June 4, 2016

The following is my Angela Shelton workbook week 9, April 16, 2015

“You can live in entire communities that are in pain. Keeping the sword in place is living in denial. Denial is a powerful choice that you have freedom to make.” 

Discussion:
How does denial manifest in the world?
·         Abandoned Children
·         Drugs
·         Alcohol
·         Confusion
·         Empty
·         Fake lives
·         Suicide
·         Making up a God to suit yourself
·         Lack of listening
·         Lack of empathy for other’s
·         Making up your own truth to justify your actions
·         Idolatry – Love of $$ and stuff
·         Loss of God
·         Lost
·         Lonely
·         Unfulfilled
·         Seeing only the physical
·         Broken Relationships
·         Denial
·         Anger
·         Hurt
·         Pain
·         Guilt & Guilty
·         Becoming a predator
·         Becoming a user and a player
·         Self-hatred
·         Loss of destiny and vision for life
·         Homelessness
·         Mental illness
·         Physical illness
                                 

How can groups of people be in Denial?
·         Birds of a feather flock together. It is uncomfortable for someone living in denial to be around someone who is trying to deal and heal from their trauma.
·         It is an issue of trust for me. It takes courage, vulnerability, self-worth and confidence to be your authentic self in a group. Most of us wear masks to protect ourselves. “If you knew this about me, you would think I am so bad.”  We don’t want to be judged so we live in denial. Maybe, if we are very lucky, we can find a friend with whom we can be authentic with. 


Healing Worksheet
Denial shows up in my life as:
·         Ignoring God
·         Obesity
·         Hiding
·         Not trusting
·         Lack of courage
·         Lack of self-worth
·         Lack of energy
·         Feeling powerless
·         Not being good enough
·         Poor self-image
·         Judging myself too harshly
·         Feeling unworthy
·         Not listening
·         Not applying healing to myself
·         No changing
·         Being harsh
·         Dishonesty
·         Self-pity
·         Abandoning myself
·         Denying things that bother me
·         Forgetting my dreams
·         Believing I am not worthy of my dreams
·         Believing I am not worthy of God’s dreams for me
·         People pleasing and putting others first at my own expense


I have Dealt with Denial by:
  • Pretending it has not affected me
  • Convincing others and myself as long as I do good – I am good. 
  • Losing myself, my purpose and what I stand for
  • Excluding people from my life
  • Judging others
  • Telling God, my friends and family, I am not good enough, I am not the right person, I am not smart enough, talented enough, making myself small.
  • Abandoning myself – my power beyond measure, my passion, my body, my health, my success and my dreams
  • Lying to myself and others
  • Constantly questioning myself and God
  • Worrying and caring what others think of me
  • Not caring about what I think of me


I have been silent about:
  • Self-loathing / Self-hatred          
  • Not being OK
  • Feeling like it is OK not to remember or think I am OK not remembering
  • Worrying that I am wrong – about them and me
  • The desire and fear I have about talking to my sister Kari about all of this
  • Revelations about my life that I have received from my Heavenly Father
  • Flash backs and memories that are just too ugly to tell anyone
  • How much it costs me to hold all of this in


As I read these workbook pages from a year ago I want to mention here that I am so blessed and grateful this journey was put in my path. This was hard crap to recognize and then let go of. And it got worse before it started getting better.  I am so grateful I am on the other side of this workbook and journey and that I took a year, to look inside myself to see truly everything I am as God made me. Such a short time to accomplish so much – and I am grateful this was my journey to healing. 

Hugs and Blessings!
Kim Mayer


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